Rudy Giuliani is leaving his law firm and leaving me with questions

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It came to my attention that Rudy Giuliani (he of the, “I was the mayor during 9/11” fame) is leaving the law firm Bracewell & Giuliani to go to Greenberg Traurig, a firm four times the size of Bracewell.

The article states that Giuliani is leaving to¬†grow his cybersecurity and white-collar criminal defense law practice. This raised all kinds of questions for me. I’m gonna list some of those questions now:

  1. Why didn’t I know Rudy Giuliani was at a law firm in Houston?
    1. The article states that Giuliani has been at Bracewell & Giuliani since 2005 and your mans Obes has lived here since 2009. The man Giuliani had a practice with his damn name on it for 4 years before I moved here and I had no idea. Truth be told, I thought he was back in New York waiting by the phone for Fox News to call him in to criticize President Obama. Shows what I know, I guess.
  2. Since when is Rudy Giuliani an expert on cybersecurity law?
    1. I know he was a successful lawyer, DA, and gets a lot of undeserved credit for decreasing crime in New York City, but that stuff doesn’t REALLY reach into the realm of security over these here interwebs. I could be wrong, but breaking the law on the street isn’t quite the same thing as breaking the law online, BUT, far be it from to shit on a man’s delusions of grandeur.
  3. Why did Rudy Giuliani come to Houston in the first place?
    1. Please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying on this point. It was a huge coup for then named Bracewell & Patterson to get Giuliani in 2005 and it helped the firm grow tremendously over the last 11 years. What I’m getting at is all my New York friends tell me constantly that it’s so much better there than it is here. They talk about how the food is so good and the nightlife is just unreal, in spite of the obscene cost of living that they like to gloss over. Something about paying $2,000/month for a closet is enthralling to them, I guess. In light of the greatness that is NYC, their supposed crimefighting mayor chose to come here to enhance his name in law. Guess it’s not so bad here after all.

So I just thought it interesting that, even after living here for what’ll be 7 years in June, I had no idea one of America’s greatest city leaders was walking among us in Houston. Ain’t life grand?

-Obes

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