Your Favorite Film Is Trash: The Breakfast Club


I opened the floor to the Twitter streets to see what this week’s entry should be. The emphatic response? The Breakfast Club. I hadn’t watched the film before so I gave it a view…I see why people wanted me to do this one. This is probably the first movie I’ve done that I genuinely dislike. Without further ado, here are 3 reasons why The Breakfast Club is trash:

1. Why don’t they just suspend these kids from school?

The entire premise of this film is that these kids, as a result of some school related atrocity they’ve committed, have to spend 8 hours at school on a Saturday doing nothing. (They’re also not allowed to study, which is weird but whatever). This is an incredible waste of time.  In order to keep these kids from doing…whatever, they had to bring the assistant principal in on the weekend and turn on lights and air-conditioning that would normally be turned off. They also brought in the janitor, for some reason. All of these things cost money, money that they could’ve saved by just making these kids stay home from school. While we’re on the subject, why do they even have 8 hour Saturday detentions anyway? Is this a common thing that I’m just not aware of? Was there something wrong with the traditional hour long detention after school? There’s nothing that an 8 hour detention gives you that keeping the kids off the premises wouldn’t also do for way cheaper.

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“It’d be way easier to just send you home for 3 days but I’d rather be a terrible detention proctor for 8 hours instead.”

2. There’s something wrong with Asst. Principal Vernon’s hearing

The four young criminals plus one are in the library across the hall from dude’s office. We know he’s not deaf because he runs across said hallway when he hears Bender fall through the ceiling. From this point on, he doesn’t hear a thing. He doesn’t hear when the kids are running behind him in the school hallways, despite the fact that all high school floors squeak.

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He doesn’t hear the kids blasting music and dancing in the library.

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He also doesn’t hear Bender crawling through the ceiling in the first place. It doesn’t seem like a good idea to put someone in charge of making sure teenagers stay quiet for a day when he can’t hear anything but then again I don’t work in education so what do i know?

3. How are these kids going to explain the damage in the library?

During the 8 hours The Breakfast Club is locked up in the library, they decide to smoke weed and leave a big hole in the ceiling. How are they going to explain this to the school and their parents? I don’t know if you’ve ever smoked weed before, but it leaves a rather distinct odor once smoked on the smokers and the area the weed was smoked in. These kids stink of weed, their parents are gonna ask questions. Additionally, the library stinks of weed so the school is gonna ask questions too. Lest you forgot, marijuana is super illegal and was especially so in the 80s when this movie was made. Chances are these kids are gonna drop dime on Bender when the heat gets turned on them. That kid’s situation is about to go from bad to worse. The guy who’s really fucked? Assistant Principal Vernon. Dude was supposed to be watching these kids and now he’s about to be out on the street.

Put it all together and what do you get? The first (but surely not the last) profiled film that I actively and actually disliked.

What did you think about this list? Do you agree? Disagree? Let Obes know on Twitter  or via email at obes@thechickensocial.com.

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