We’re a couple days late, I know, but thanks for being patient. As we all know, good things take time. This week, we’re looking at Francis Ford Coppola’s masterpiece, The Godfather. This is actually one of my favorite movies and widely considered to be one of the best films ever. Does it stand up to YFFIT scrutiny? Obviously not. Let’s get started.
The toll booth murder doesn’t make any sense
After Sonny’s sister Connie is beaten, again, by her husband Carlo (who was introduced to her by Sonny, BY THE WAY), Sonny tears down the highway to make good on his earlier promise to kill Carlo if he ever hit Connie again. Unfortunately for Sonny, he doesn’t quite make it to Connie and Carlo’s house.
A few things jump out to me:
How long were those guys waiting in the toll booths and how did they know Sonny would react the way he did? The reason he left in the first place was because his Mother couldn’t hear Connie over a screaming baby and gave Sonny the phone. If anyone else, like the recently departed Michael, had answered the phone, those 10-12 shooters in their full suits would’ve been sweating their asses off for nothing.
And why didn’t Sonny just throw the car into reverse? He was blocked from moving forward but not from moving back. Michael showed multiple times he could think on his feet in these situations. Sonny’s too busy cheating on his wife with women that have comically large vaginas (look it up)
Michael is way too open about family secrets
At Connie’s wedding, we see Michael and Kay in a shaded area far from the rest of his family. He and Kay are inexplicably talking about how his dad came to be who he is and other family secrets…wait. Michael is telling family secrets…to a person who isn’t in his family.
It’s clear he and Kay are close, he brought her to Connie’s wedding after all, but the two of them aren’t married. This becomes especially clear after Michael flees the country without telling her and marries someone else. This isn’t the first time he’s told her secrets either, she seems well aware who she’s surrounded by at the wedding and isn’t shocked by much of what Michael tells her. What would it have taken for one of the cops posted outside the wedding to arrest Kay and get her to reveal some of the things Michael’s told her? And she’d be able to…because they’re not married. You’d think a man who grew up in a mafia family would know better.
Jack Woltz is far too heavy a sleeper
In the lead up to one of the movie’s most iconic scenes, Tom Hagen has just been thrown out of dinner without being allowed to finish his meal (what an awful host, by the way) for asking Woltz to have Johnny Fontaine star in his upcoming film. Woltz is then seen waking up the next morning to find that his beloved horse’s head spent the night with him.
There’s too many moving parts here. Tom (or someone else) would have to sneak back on to the premises and into the barn which one would have to assume is locked. Then, they’d have to kill the horse and cut its head off, all without making any noise that would alert anyone to their presence. Next, they’d have to sneak into the house itself and find which room is Woltz’s, no small task considering how big that house is. Last, but not least, they’d have to put the horse’s head into bed with Woltz without waking him up. (Also, do horse heads really have that much blood in them? How is there that much blood in Woltz’s bed? Sheesh.)
I’ve loved (and still love) this movie more than most. But when you take a closer look, you see that your favorite film is indeed trash*.
Obes can be reached (or sent hate mail) at obes [at] thechickensocial.com or on Twitter.
*This movie isn’t actually trash